Self-doubt and poor self-esteem has profound effects on your life. It triggers poor business and life decisions, depression and anxiety and impacts your relationships with your children, your friends and your family.
Could it get any more pervasive?
The problem is that too many moms suffer from self-doubt – and there’s too much for us to doubt ourselves about.
and the list goes on . . .
Wouldn’t it be nice if you could harness the incredible power behind doubt and make it work FOR you instead of AGAINST you?
Well, guess what . . . with the right tools, that’s exactly what you can do. The challenge is that you must follow through with the plan. It isn’t enough to read it and say, “Oh yeah, I know about that,” “I think I could do that,” and then forget about it after starting a new project.
Like everything in life at which you want to be successful – you must have persistence and consistency. If you want to lose weight, get fit, reduce your blood pressure, improve your sales numbers or get a new job – you HAVE to be persistent and consistent in your efforts.
The same is true here. If you want to reduce or eliminate your self-doubt you have to walk the walk and talk the talk. It doesn’t just happen, it requires your effort.
Your first step is to USE your doubt to push you in the right direction. Instead of getting overwhelmed by the “feelings” and sinking further into depression, turn the energy you use to worry and doubt your decisions, to push you into using the tools you need to overcome it.
This is by far the most difficult part of the process. It’s just so much easier to approach self-pity and self-doubt, tumbling headlong down that slippery slope. The closer you get to the edge, the easier it is to go over. Dragging yourself back is an obstacle you are capable of overcoming only when you believe you can.
Let’s move on and come back to this part later.
Once you’re back on solid ground, even for a short while, it’s time to make use of the strategies that will keep you there. The first strategy is to continue to use the technique you used to get up on solid ground. It’s a simple and effective way of running your whole life.
Doubt kills the dreams that failure never sees. It’s time to erase the doubt and recognize that you just might stumble and fall. The fear of failure will guarantee you’ll never succeed. Whether it’s being the best mom you want to be, starting a new business, or learning how to invest your money, fear of failing means you won’t try anything new and guarantees you’ll fail.
You might think you’re safer by not trying something new, but instead you aren’t trying. It’s plain and simple. It isn’t the safe option, it drives you in reverse instead of forward through your life.
Come to the understanding, you’ll stumble, you’ll fall and you’ll get up again. You only fail when you stop trying.
Yeah, you’ve read that before. Do you believe it? Do you practice it? It doesn’t matter if you’ve read it or even if you believe it. What matters is if you practice it.
Let’s start with being aware of the self-talk that goes right along with self-doubt. Awareness goes hand and hand with falling into a pit of self-despair and self-pity. Know when you’re in that pit or heading down that path and put on the brakes.
Interrupt your thoughts and turn them around. It’s time to “Just Say No!”
Now ask yourself, are the thoughts you’re having valid? Do you think if you start investing your money you’ll lose all of it? That might be a valid thought if you don’t do your homework and understand what you’re doing. But when you are well-prepared, the likelihood is much less.
Do you think if you start a business it will fail? It might. However, if you’re well prepared, ask for help from those who have gone before you, and take advice you’ll likely experience less challenges and more rewards.
The thoughts running around your head don’t have a life of their own. You give them life and you give them weight. When you interrupt and put other thoughts in place you can reduce your self-doubt and anxiety.
Unfortunately, in the throes of a barrage of negative self-talk it can be difficult to remember that your thoughts don’t have a life of their own. You give them life and you give them power over your life.
You also aren’t the only one in this position. There are plenty of single moms who are wondering if they can do the job needed to raise responsible and wonderful young people.
I use a friend each day to help me stay clear of the negativity in my brain and improve my results. I’ve found that I could try every strategy under the sun, but until I recognized that I was forgiven and could crawl out of the pit of self-pity, no amount of self-help was going to change my situation.
Self-help strategies work when you have a strong foundation from which you work. When you’re sitting on the sand, all the work in the world will only help you dig a bigger hole.
I changed my life when I committed myself to Jesus. He became everything to me and over the last years has shown me a path that has led me on a journey I could not have predicted. I have less self-doubt and when things go badly – and they do! – I have Jesus who is with me always.
This is the strategy that moves me out of the pit of self-pity and onto solid ground. This is what we were coming back to later. Doubt worked to drive me to the place where I recognized a need I couldn’t fill on my own.
The only thing that filled that void for me is Jesus. If you want more information about getting to know Jesus check out this page.